Wow, it’s Friday again already. Is Friday your last day of the week? Hopefully, it is.
How was your week? Did it fly by, or was it one full of struggles that had you wondering if Friday would ever arrive? Well, it has, and soon you will have two full days to unwind, turn your attention to yourself, your family, your hobbies and whatever else inspires and nourishes you. Or maybe not.
Do you find the week and weekend are the same? Is your work with clients perhaps taking up too much of your headspace while you maybe should be having downtime?
I’ve been thinking about how we approach the end-of-day on Fridays. How do you wash-up everything that has happened over the last week? What is your transition style from ‘the work’ to the ‘not working’ headspace?
I have had a few modes over the years of managing, or not, the end of the working week, and I can sum them up in these four modes.
Mode 1 The Busy Parent.
As I walked out of the therapy room, I would get pulled almost immediately into the needs of a growing family—chauffeur, cook, referee and mum. Family needs can be a mighty pull. There often seemed not much choice but to swop hats immediately and get stuck into family life. But in reality, in my head, the content of the week was still too present, popping up while stirring the spag-bol or on a family walk. Some of those thoughts were perhaps inspirational and helpful – but how many of those thoughts were still floating around because I hadn’t put them away?
It struck me that if I were self-employed in a trade, I would arrive home in the van, spend an hour cleaning up and putting away my tools, and the family would get used to this being a part of my working day.
Eventually, I deployed a routine to give me a chance to wash up my mental tools and put them away. I made a physical ritual, one the family could see. My reference books and any items I’d used in the therapy room, I unpacked and put away. I made some journal notes, got out of my work outfit and did some stretches. Of course, all this outward activity was a smokescreen; the real wash-up was happening on the inside. As I let the content of the week slide gently into a safe part of my mind, a storage room of sorts, I’d dim the light in the room and leave the door just ajar enough so I’d notice anything significant – but not too much to let it all float out until Monday.
Mode 2 – The Empty Nester – Social Butterfly.
The kids were gone. Being able to be much more social softened the experience of the surplus empty bedrooms. Indeed, there is nothing quite like that second flush of freedom once the offspring have sprung off. There seems so much time to fit in all the things I always dreamed of doing if only I had more time.
Ah! the freedom of meeting friends after work on a Friday. A little casual supper and a chance to catch up on the events of the week, the latest problems and catastrophes are de-rigueur amongst close friends, an opportunity to sound off about the issues and problems at work. It is the balm at the end of a tough week for most.
But there is a snag – isn’t there always? Being professionally bound to keep tight-lipped about my work, I’d sit there, soaking up the stresses of my dearly loved friends. Did I get quite the same de-stressing effect as they did from the evening? Quite possibly not.
I discovered what worked for me was to make sure I was de-stressed before hitting the social scene. Not sharing my work with my friends was never going change, so I decided to suck it up and accept it. I took the opportunity to close the week for myself, file away the content of the week, whats gone well, what have I learned. I de-stress, making sure my playtime is just that, free time to play.
Mode 3 – The Homebody.
Grateful to get home, kick off my shoes, feel the bliss and chill. Maybe a glass of wine and my current read. Put on a box set or blast on the music and smash the housework or some project. These are all ways I sometimes choose to relax.
But my homebody routine is an immediate dive into major distraction until bedtime and perhaps that leaves it to my dreamtime to sort out the week for me while I sleep?
Well, maybe it works for some.
Is that best use of the marvellous, mysterious journeys we go on when we’re asleep though?
Maybe our Dreamtime is meant for our stuff; we should selfishly keep it for ourselves.
So to wash-up this little article I’d say find your own way to wash-up on Fridays.
You need to take care of You.
You are your most important tool after all.
With love
Lois
Putting the kettle on at The Trusty Teapot
I hope you enjoyed this article. I hope you found it entertaining, helpful, if it points you to ways to better recharge, and possibly something of a conversation starter. Of course, it would be good to discuss these things with a fellow Counsellor or Psychotherapist. But historically, we’ve not been that good at getting it together. And so The Trusty Teapot has opened its doors.
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They are feelings, The feeling of Fellowship and the feeling of Camaraderie. They have underpinning feelings, these include;
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